What is the Birth like been a twin Dad?

I don’t think anything or anyone can prepare you for the wave of emotion that comes over you when you first meet your child, the only difference is that as a twin Dad you get to do it twice within a few minutes.

There was a whole minute between my two, due to my wife having to have a planned C-section. This is not uncommon with around 60% of twins being delivered this way. The wave of emotion is indescribable. After 40 minutes in the operating theatre, my wife and I had gone from a relaxed couple to a happy instant family.

What are first few minutes of being a twin Dad like?

The build-up to the C- section was worrying. We had done some research about the dangers and discussed it with the midwife, unfortunately the decision was made for us. Due to the position of the babies, it was decided that the safest way to get them out of there was via a planned C-section.

Once the prep had been completed we were walked into the theatre and after the anesthetic kicked in, the surgeon started to deliver our first baby much to my wife’s surprise when she asked, “have they started yet?” and the reply from the midwife who overheard was, ”you are going to meet your first baby soon!” moments later our daughter was born, the midwife did some checks and all was ok and a minute later out came our sonagain the midwife checked him over and all was fine.

It was a massive surprise that we had a boy and a girl as we’d resisted the temptation to find out at scans what our babies were as we wanted there to be some mystery to the day and be a surprise for everyone. We were put under pressure by some family members about wanting to know but on the day the joy that having one of each brought us was worth the wait. My advice would be not to give into the modern trend and do your gender reveal once they have arrived.

I was invited to trim both of the cords, and the most surprising thing about this is how hard it is to cut through once the babies had been weighed and cleaned up a bit as they are extremely gunky when they first come out they were handed to my wife for skin to skin time.

Luckily we live in the U.K. and holding your baby is free. If you live in the USA you have to pay a charge for this in most places.

This for us was a magical moment where we were able to have a cuddle and reflect that we had a boy and a girl baby. It was all we ever dreamed of during the pregnancy but never expected to get.

During this time the surgeon continued to work, after about 10 minutes of being together the babies and I were taken through to the recovery ward while the surgery was finished off.

I was then left alone standing in the recovery ward with not a clue what to do with two babies and my wife still in surgery. The babies and I were the only ones in recovery. This emphasized the feeling of being responsible for a family and that I had to take care of two little people and my wife.  It was both exciting and terrifying in equal measure. I knew then that all I wanted to do for my family was succeed at being a good father and husband.

My wife was brought through to recovery and she looked exhausted. She was still numb from the spinal block and would be unable to walk for the next few hours. We then spent about an hour or so in the recovery ward, all three of them being monitored by medical staff.

On the Maternity Ward.

We were placed in a shared ward with three other women all of them were singleton mothers the day continued with babies being checked and visits from people like the breastfeeding experts as my wife had expressed a desire to attempt to breastfeed them both and then doctors came and checked everyone over.

The first few hours were a whirlwind with these people popping in to do their various jobs and the ward was busy as the other women had visitors as they’d had their babies a few days or overnight, this made it hard for my wife to rest and for us was a poor experience, and then At 10:00 pm I was thrown out of the hospital by staff and ordered by my wife to return at 8:00 am the next morning which was the earliest I was allowed to return.

The feeling of having me having to leave my wife at probably the time when she needed me the most didn’t sit well with me. I knew I had no choice and that she would be looked after by staff at the hospital however she had just undergone major surgery to deliver our babies.  

She stood for the first time after the spinal block had worn off not long after I left and she was expected to look after two newborn babies. I got home and had a FaceTime from my wife telling me she was ok and she had it all in hand and her legs were ok. It never ceases to amaze me the resilience of my wife at that moment and her ability to deal with the pain and look after our babies, she was truly was remarkable.

What are first few days of being a twin Dad like?

When I returned to the hospital the next day I was the first dad to arrive eager to see my new family. I was expecting a queue of other fathers in the same position, however I was the only one standing there. When I was let into the ward I was met by my wife who was tired and exhausted and had spent the whole night looking after two babies.

I took over looking after the babies although luckily they were asleep and I was there waiting for all of them to wake up.

My wife slept well and was well rested after a few hours and we were greeted with some welcome news that she would be moved into a private room and I would be allowed to stay with her overnight. This was amazing news and allowed us to be there to support each other. We spent the next few days in the hospital as we could both be there to look after the babies and learn how to care for them together.

During those first few days that we had to stay in hospital, my wife got to grips with our son breastfeeding and was helped bystaff to perfect the technique, our daughter on the other hand was so tiny that she never really got it and ended up having to have breastmilk but from a bottle. As we were there for a few days because of the C-section we were able to get shown bathing techniques and generally settle into been a family.

Conclusion

Having twins for us was an amazing experience and brought us closer together. In those first few weeks, you have to work together to learn all the things that work for you to care for your baby. All the preparation in the world won’t make you 100% ready but, it can help you be slightly more prepared and not feel like the world is completely out of control.

This will allow you to be a more relaxed parent and if you are more relaxed so will your babies.

My top tips for Dad preparing for your twin’s Birth

1. Call in help. My wife and I have very little family and if you have a large group of friends or family get them to fill your freezer with homemade meals for you. Trust me you won’t feel like cooking a meal once you have got your little ones to bed in the first few weeks.

2. Make sure that you have your car seats ready and know how to use them for your first journey home from the hospital.

3. Make sure that your nursery is prepared although the babies won’t be in there straight away. However, knowing where the nappies and wipes and bibs and baby grows etc. makes your life easier and less stressful especially in those first few weeks to make sure you can both find things in the middle of the night and not have to wake your partner.

4. Do an antenatal class to cover the basics and also the choices that you will have for your birth plan. Our course gave us the confidence to push for natural birth in the first instance even though we ended up having to accept the medical advice to have a C-section.

5. Be prepared for the joy and hard work they will bring you.